Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Chemical formula of love
Feeling is really like kind chemicals
You can never tell what kind of results will happen. .
Its change by time, the characters, location, disposition, conditions. .
Even the love btw will be a key component. .
Someone said that he was so afraid of losing you yesterday
But today, he said break up because of the character..
In half an hour later, saying he lied. .
He is really love you, but do not want you to suffer. .
I began to wonder. .
How much he understand about me and how much his love in me. .
LOve really trustable ?
Monday, December 22, 2008
When I let go, don't fall into it . .
You only tell me you love me, u wanna stay. .
I have been efforts to protect your well-being. .what about mine ?
Can it be not so selfish?
can you just release me ?
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Looking back, is really a lot of mistakes. .
Yesterday I'm suppose to meet my ex for a drink. . really haven't seen him for more than 3 years... i don't know what kind of mood to see him, but i know I'm kinda miss him..
But I'm tried to call him, text him for whole day..There is no one answered. . I'm start to worry bout him..
i received a text from him...He replied me with few questions he would like to ask in pass 3 years but never asked. .
He said that he was driving earlier planing go n see me, but somehow he felt doubtful and little scared..So he just went back home. .
He said I'm the first one to be that intimate with him, but he don't blame me anymore for now.. just fear to see me again..
He asked me why would i wanted to see him again.. and how i feel when he leave me when he said we're not suitable to be together...
i really have no answers for all this, i knew he not really wanted to broke off last time.. but I'm just..... sigh.... what i did...
I am very bad, right?
I asked him is he still like me, but i only hear silent, Because he did not know..
Thought of apologize, but I know its doesn't help.. That scar wont be lighten
because of 'I'm sorry'.. And I had said lot of sorry to him in pass . .
He should be pretty pain now, and all I can do for him is no longer looking for him again. . I really do not want to hurt him, see him in pain again.. the pain has been enough..
I'm listening Apologize by one republic
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Don't know why all of a sudden today，would like to open a blog for my own
maybe.... i wish someone will find and understand....
maybe ... i just need some friends to give me a warm hug...
its rainy season.... kinda cold..
In this weather.. we'll always flashback to pass
Lying on bed....
With a pillow smell very familiar with the taste. .its his lotion. . really curious know what brand it is. . Really resistant. . lol..
the mattress i used to slept in pass 2 months, suddenly feel lot more spaces.. 'SWT'
Just delete each message issued by him. . However, I find myself quite naive. . I thought this will be able to forget everything about him. .
But... don't get me wrong... am just suddenly think of him... that all... i still know where i am..
lets for the right person coming.