Bit too late to apologize

这几天不知自己干嘛。。。一直想起以前的人与事。。。
回头看，还真是做错了不少。。
昨天本来和我的ex约好要去喝个茶，见见面。。真的很久没见他了。。应该有三年了吧。。
我自己也不明白是怎样的心情去见他，只知道有种很想他的感觉。。
可是，我打了他电话整天。都没人接。。回也不回。。
直到2.23am他回了。。回了一封这样久来，他想问但从来都没问的事。。
他说本来驾着车来着，忽然感到害怕，想起从前的我们。。所以他回去了。。
他问我那时他说分手时，我到底是怎样的心情。。
我无言了。。我明知道那时的他只是想气我。。可是我却对他说好吧，就分吧。。
我很坏吧？
我又问他是不是还喜欢着我，这次换他无言。。因为他也不知道。
很想道歉，可是我知道没用。那疤痕不会我那句话而淡掉。。因为那晚我说了太多的对不起。。
他应该蛮辛苦吧，而我可以为他做的就是不再找他了。。我真不想他再疼，以前带给他的疼已够了

Looking back, is really a lot of mistakes. .
Yesterday I'm suppose to meet my ex for a drink. . really haven't seen him for more than 3 years... i don't know what kind of mood to see him, but i know I'm kinda miss him..

But I'm tried to call him, text him for whole day..There is no one answered. . I'm start to worry bout him..

2.23am
i received a text from him...He replied me with few questions he would like to ask in pass 3 years but never asked. .
He said that he was driving earlier planing go n see me, but somehow he felt doubtful and little scared..So he just went back home. .
He said I'm the first one to be that intimate with him, but he don't blame me anymore for now.. just fear to see me again..

He asked me why would i wanted to see him again.. and how i feel when he leave me when he said we're not suitable to be together...
i really have no answers for all this, i knew he not really wanted to broke off last time.. but I'm just..... sigh.... what i did...
I am very bad, right?

I asked him is he still like me, but i only hear silent, Because he did not know..

Thought of apologize, but I know its doesn't help.. That scar wont be lighten
because of 'I'm sorry'.. And I had said lot of sorry to him in pass . .
He should be pretty pain now, and all I can do for him is no longer looking for him again. . I really do not want to hurt him, see him in pain again.. the pain has been enough..

I'm listening Apologize by one republic